its a choice

After my first year in Mexico, I came back to Colorado for the summer and had a choice. I had two months. I could either dig into relationships and live in the now or I could stay inside my own bubble, afraid of making friendships I'd have to leave anyways. I chose to dig in. And even though, it hurt like crap to leave at the end of that summer, I don't regret it. I joined a Bible study, pursued girl friendships I knew I wouldn't see past the summer, got involved in my church...I really lived in the now.

I find myself at the same crossroads right now. I have five more months in Monterrey. The temptation to check out is huge. Why dig into relationships when I know I am going to have to say goodbye? Living in the now is hard right now. With Monterrey being unstable, my students being, for lack of a better term, terrible...all I really want to do is sign off. This is where I have to make a choice. The temptaion will be there, but I have to choose to live in the here and now. I have to choose to dig into those relationships I know won't be there next year at this time. I have to choose to love my students right where they are at. It's my prayer right now. God, help me not to check out. Help me not to live in the future but to live and love RIGHT WHERE I AM AT! It's where God wants me. It's where He has me. But the bottom line is, its a choice. This won't happen naturally. Just like that summer, I have to choose to dig in, even though I know I am leaving.

God, help me with this. God knows I can't do this on my own.