The culture I grew up in told me differently. There is something wrong if Americans think they are poor. I grew up thinking if I only had this or that, I'd be happy. I compared myself to the people around me or people who had more than I did. We start to gauge whether or not we are wealthy based on the things we don't have. If we can't get the newest IPOD or get that new car, we must not be "rich" like the others. When you realize that 93 percent of the world's population doesn't even have a car, the need to have a better one goes away. You start to feel grateful that you even have a way to get around. When we don't think we are wealthy, we start to loose the idea that we need to help the poor. We start to think, "Why don't the "rich" help the poor, they have so much." It's the moment you realize YOU are the ONE that is rich that changes how you view your money and the way you spend it.
The thing is, my money was never mine to begin with. For some reason, God put me in a place where I would have more than most. ( Yes, even on a teacher's salary) When your eyes start to open to the fact that you are wealthier than most of the world, you'd be crazy not to change. Jesus came to this earth with a mission: to preach good news to the POOR. He served the outcasts, the unloved, those in poverty with humility. He warned us that money can do crazy things to people. He said that we can't serve two masters: money or God...we have to choose.
I got my summer paycheck yesterday. It's crazy what happens when you don't really get paid throughout the year and than all of a sudden they give it to you in one lump sum. I knew I had to use it wisely. Even praying about it made me uneasy. Money has always made me feel uncomfortable. Maybe its because I've never seen it used wisely, I don't know, but either way, it's always been a subject I hate talking about. I just asked God to show me what to do with it. I knew that it was never mine to began with. I didn't want it to have a hold on me or to give me a false sense of security. I don't want money or my things to ever get in the way of my relationship with God. As I prayed, a thought came to mind. "Hannah, give it to Casa Hogar Douglas." My dear friend Caroline has been living at this orphanage for the past week so I decided to email her and ask her what her little ones needed.
She sent me this list
8 matching comforters for their beds
2 pillows
2 games of memory
Kid's DVDs
Hotwheels for the treasure box
With an empty Wallmart cart, I went through the isles and packed as many things as I could find. I threw in hot wheels, soccer balls, bed comforters, pillows, etc. I don't think I've ever received so many weird looks before. The cash register lady looked at me as she rang in the 8 comforters, extremely confused. Not knowing that I understand Spanish well, she told the lady "What is this lady doing with all of this?" The bagging lady replied, "Man, I dont' know, its kind of crazy." I laughed a little, smiled and drove my cart out to the parking lot.
It's not a lot. But its a small thing with a whole lot of love attached to it. It's funny. I'm realizing that once you start spending yourselves for others and giving without looking back, there is a certain sense of freedom you feel. All of the problems you once thought were big in your life become smaller and smaller. You get to see Jesus in the eyes of others. It's a beautiful thing.
Not for one moment can I think that I am doing something great here. Oh no. If you're reading this...pleeeeaaaassee know that its God in my life. My mom said something beautiful today. I told her that I was a mess without God. She replied back, "we all are." Jesus has such a funny way of changing the messes in our lives into something beautiful. You should get to know Him.
Please forgive me for ever thinking I didn't have enough.
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