Leaving

I'm sitting in my empty bedroom right now. I feel sad and nostalgic. It's my last night in Mexico and I'm a big bag of emotions. Some moments, I cry. Others, I feel okay. I can't really put into words what my time here has meant to me. It's been so much more than just a new cultural experience. It's the place I became an adult. It's the place I grew up. It's the place where the Lord and I's relationship truly took off. It's the place where I learned Spanish. It's the place where I started my teaching career. It's the place where I've traveled and made new friends. It's the place where God has taken the old me and molded me closer into the woman He wants me to be.

Three years ago, I hated Monterrey. I thought it wasn't a good fit for me and really struggled. Now, I can't imagine what my life would be like without this experience. At times, I feel more Mexican than I do American. This is an experience that you can't put a price on. You can't match words to it. I can't help but thank God for bringing me here, for changing my heart, for growing me up, for standing by my side.

And so tomorrow, I might not be able to take my friends with me or hold onto my job. But, I know that I'll never loose this experience. I know this transition will be hard. To be honest, I'm not even sure how to prepare myself for it. But Mexico will always be near to me.

While I can't seem to stop the tears, I do know that God is faithful and will help me through this transition. It's not a mistake I'm leaving here. He knows my steps. He knows what is next.